World Habitat Day

We take so much for granted. We eat daily, we have running water which you can drink, if you are not too fussy, we have health care, and in most cases private health care. On the Maslow hierarchy of needs all of us should be pretty much sorted for the bottom three level; Physiological, Safety and Love/belonging needs.

Now there are people in this world who are just not that lucky, there are more than 100 billion people living in slums, and in South Africa with a housing crisis that is growing, we are faced daily with the realities of people living in sub-human conditions.

Tomorrow is World Habitat Day, and if you do nothing else but to think about how well you have it then so be it; but maybe just maybe you can find yourself reaching out to someone, anyone today to try and make a difference.

We all know that the victims of the xenophobia which swept the country is all but relocated, there are a number of charities and organisations that are involved to try and alleviate the social pressures caused by the senseless violence. You can try and contact one of these organisations to see how you can assist.

You could contact your local church office and find out where they work to try and what they need, you might be able to provide them with old children's clothes. You might have some junk lying around the house which you will not be needing again.

Regardless off what you do I challenge you to make a difference, if not today then this week. Even if you read this article weeks after the 6th of October then there is still nothing to stop you from getting involved.

Let us all count our blessings, trust me if you look at the lives some people are forced to lead, your troubles seem a lot less.

Medical Practitioners

This morning I was reading a blog about a gynae which was being blamed for a miscarriage. In short the women started bleeding around twelve weeks which intensified the next week. She saw a doctor at the emergency ward, which blamed in on a bladder infection and then the gynae who prescribed bed rest. Her bleeding got worse and the next week she had a miscarriage.

Now when I was pregnant with Mia I continued to have spot bleeding when my period was due for the first month, and even in the second month. Now in the third month I was worried when it was back, I grabbed the what to expect when your expecting book and started looking at what they said. Still not calmed I decided to see my doctor. He looked at us and said it was all well, and that I should just stay calm and try and take things slow. Luckily for me this all went away and I had a normal pregnancy for the rest of it. I think we all understand that a miscarriage is a real possibility and fear when you are pregnant, and for me as a person who has never experienced this I am sure that there is no way to try and think and feel what a bereaved parent feels. The question is however when do you ask for a second opinion? When do you move to another doctor?

I think that where your child or pregnancy is concerned you should trust your sixth sense; if you feel uncomfortable with your doctor, paediatrician, clinic sister, then you move on. You do not look back you do not go back, you keep on trying and find the right fit for you. Any number of raving reviews this gynae got on this blog, would not change the way that the mother(to be) in question feels and thinks about him. The same way as I would not return to my initial paediatrician, or clinic sister. I am not interested in how respected these people are, they were not right for me.

I find however that people tend to stick with practitioners regardless of whether they really trust these people or not; I think that we are so scared to make changes so as to have the label paranoid parent attached to us, but you know what label me what ever you like, but if I am not able to trust you I will not be able to rest assured that your professional opinion is carrying any weight. I will not be able to open up to you, and share information that might assist you in your diagnoses. Where especially small children are concerned it is of utmost importance that you are able to trust your care givers inexplicable, if you can't you need to move on.

I was concerned that the clinic sister I took Mia to the first time did not interact with her, she told me what she was doing but not Mia, yes she was 5 days old, but you can't just ignore her as a person, and tell mum what you are going to do to baby. She made me anxious; and thus she made Mia anxious. I was out of there is a flash and that was the last I saw of her, I found another clinic with a wonderful sister, which I am able to trust. She has empathy and understanding, she does not judge you, she only have this amazing warmth that flows from her. She is reassuring and kind. She was just right for me, she might however not be right for someone else.

This is how things are with people and thus the same way as we don't all like or wear the same shoes it is important to shop around and find the perfect fit; this is important for your state of mind as well as your confidence as a parent. If you surround you with people that are best for you, you will not have to second guest, you will have a strong support system, and as that be able to grow and flourish as a parent.

Was daardie handjies

Om hande te was in volgens een van die artikels wat ek vanoggend gelees het, een van die eerste maniere om jou kind teen onwelkome kieme en bakterieë te beskerm.

Daar word gevind dat heelwat siektes versprei word deur ongewaste hande, en dit is nie net verkouse wat dalk 'n houvas kan kry met vuil handjies nie, maar meer ernstige siektes soos bronchiolitis en selfs diarrhoea.

Nou om jou kind te kry om hande te was is opsig self 'n ondankbare taak, maar om jou kind te kry om reg hande te was voel soms amper onmoontlik.

Die volgende kan dalk helpom dinge te vergemaklik:

• Kry iets waarop jou peuter gemaklik kan staan om by die wasbad by te kom.
• Die meeste peuters is gek na water en jou grootste hekkie gaan wees om die “gewas” tot slegs die hande en gewrigte te beperk.
• Kry vloeibare seep wat maklik is vir klein vingertjies om in te vryf en onthou tussen die vingers, onder die naels, en die gewrigte; amper soos 'n dokter skrop voor 'n operiasie.
• Maak seker dat jou kind vir ten minste 12-15 sekondes in-seep, jy het nie anti-bakteriese seep nodig nie enige seep sal werk.
• Maak dit pret, en was sommer saam hande, kinder is altyd gretig om “groot-mens” dinge te doen, en dit sal ook makliker wees om hulle te kry om dinge te doen wat hulle jou sien doen.

Dit is baie belangrik dat kinders hande was as:

• Hulle genies of gehoes het;
• Hulle met troeteldiere gespeel het, of in die tuin “gewerk” het;
• Hulle doek geruil is; of die toilet gebruik het;
• Voor etes; of voor daar met kos gewerk word.

Dit mag dalk voel asof jy soos 'n gekrapte plaat klink deur aan te hou herinner om hande te vas, maar onthou dit mag dalk net help om jou een minder dokters besoek te laat aflê.

Dit mag dalk voel asof jy soos 'n gekrapte plaat klink deur aan te hou herinner om hande te was, maar onthou dit mag dalk net help om jou een minder dokters besoek te laat aflê.

Kinderpartytjies.

Iemand het gesê die rede hoekom ouers partytjies hou is om te sien hulle kinders is nie die ergste wat daar is nie. Op 'n sekere vlak is die seker waar...

Kinderpartytjies is die “stomping grounds” vir 'n wonderlike platform waar ouers hulle kinders kan vergelyk met vriende en familie, en kan sien hoe slim, voortvarend of braaf, hulle kinders is. In die meeste gevalle kan enige form van wangedrag gelukkig in en van die vakkies geplaas word, en jy kan rustig jouself daarmee troos dat die nié noodwendige sosiale gedrag sterk aangeblaas word deur die oormaat suiker wat gewoontlik op die partytjies beskikbaar is.

Ek het nou die dag 'n artikel gelees waar 'n ma geskryf het sy sien so op na haar kind se verjaarsdag, waar sy haar huis moet oopmaak vir 'n leërskare hiperaktiewe, suiker aangedrewe terroriste. Die wonderlike dame wat haar hulpkreet beantwoord het, het opgemerk dat sy nie nodig het om die roete te gaan nie, en dat dit miskien tyd is om terug te keer na 'n “low key” familie geleentheid met 'n koek, kersies, en 'n paar gesonder versnapperinge. Dit natuurlike slegs vir die naaste familie.

Op die anderkant is daar natuurlik die waarheid dat soos mens ouer word, verjaarsdag partytjies in elk geval vanself afskaal, tot waar jy teen jou laat dertigs verjaarsdae slegs die “groot” verjaarsdae vier. Wat beteken dat jy eers elke vyf en dan elke tiende verjaarsdag vier, en as jy jou oë uitveë is dit jou aftrede... Bitter min mense wat ek ken, neem die tyd en energie in vandag se gejaag om hulle verjaarsdae in groot hoe-ha geleenthede te omskep. Ja ons braai miskien en klink 'n glasie wyn, maar van die weke se beplanning en wroeginge wat ouers deurgaan om hulle kinders se verjaarsdae te vier is daar nie sprake nie, behalwe as jy natuurlike Edith Venter of een of ander “rich and famous” persoon is, waar jou verjaarsdag nog 'n geleentheid is om jouself op die A-lys te verstig. Die artikel het sterk aangeraai dat ons weer onthou hoekom dit so 'n groot hoe-ha is, en dat elke persoon opsigself 'n “miracle” is en daar is dus meer as genoeg rede om die dae van die hoogste pieke af aan te kondig...

Nou wat probeer ek sê? Ek dink dat beide hierdie denkrigtings water dra en dat ons miskien na 'n goue middeweg moet kyk. Hier is 'n paar goed wat ek dink miskien kan help met jou sielsgesondheid:

• Besluit op 'n begroting, dinge ruk gou handuit en voor jy oë uitveë kos die hele gedoente jou 'n arm en 'n been;
• Besluit op 'n plek, raak kreatief en gaan uit die huis uit na plekke waar jy nie noodwendig 'n arm en 'n been hoef te betaal vir die gebruik van die area.
• Skaal af op suiker; kry gesonder alternatiewe
• Maak seker dat jy aandui hoe laat die partytjie begin en eindig; so hoef jy nie die laaste ondankbare gas van jou kandelaar af te haal ure na die eintlike partytjie verby is nie.
• Probeer om die partytjie pakkie en die dankie geskenk in een te inkorpureer; wanneer die tendens begin het dat elke kind 'n ou ietsietjie moet kry om huis toe te vat weet ek nie, maar dit is blykbaar tans'n doodsonde as jy dit nie doen nie.
• Probeer iets spesifieks of gestruktureerds kry waarmee die kinders hulle kan besig hou of besig gehou meë word.
• Maak seker alle partytjie gangers weet wat die reëls is, waar hulle mag en nie mag gaan nie.
• As jy 'n skrapse begroting het, gebruik balonne om 'n feestelike omgewing te skep.
• Raak kreatief en gaan uit die huis uit na plekke waar jy nie noodwendig 'n arm en 'n been hoef te betaal vir die gebruik van die area.
  

As alles te veel is kry hulp, daar is 'n horde partytjie maatskappye wat maar té bly sal wees om jou te help om jou kind se spesiale dag te organiseer.

Nou ja al wat ek dan kan sê is onthou ook dat as dinge nie volgens plan verloop nie, kan jy maar net ontspan en glimlag, want niemand anders weet wat jou oorspronklike gedagte was nie.
So geniet dit, en alle heil vir dié groot dae.

Girls will be girls, and boys oh well...

I just walked past my shoes which Mia got hold of his morning and is piled in a heap, where she was weighing these and obviously decided that they do not meet her quality standards.

I was wondering weather the girlishness of girls and the boisterousness of boys are in-born. I mean Mia could not have gotten her shoe and bag fetish from me, and definitely not from my husband (or maybe we are just both in denial). I mean here is a girl that can hardly say 50 words yet have dress sense; she literally eyes the clothes I select for her and should she not want to wear these she puts up a fight. If I should win this fight she will go and select clothes that she wants to wear bit by bit once I put her down, the same goes for the shoes, although she seems a bit more indecisive about what would be best here, and just continuously keeps asking to put the others on, regardless.

She also got into the habit of taking things with her as we leave the house. Just as we are ready to leave in the morning for her day mother, she dashes around the house to find something suitable to take with her. She has taken her father's old straw hat, a Pick 'n Pay green bag, a giraffe her own size; the plastic carry box for eggs, her bouncing ball, a couple of books, and some garden tools, so suitable is debatable. She also loves hats, she stands in front of her mirror parading and trying on every single hat she owns, whilst giggling and frolicking to herself.

So we have her down for shoes, clothes, bags and hats, that I would say make her a girly girl.

Now boys on the other-hand, or the ones I have laid eyes on the last couple of years; seem to have a couple of innate characteristics. The throw things first off to check if it is a ball, if it is not a ball, they will continue to throw the toy to see if they are able to destruct it, if destruction is not possible by means of throwing then alternative methods will be applied to try and destruct.
I am not saying that boys are destructive in nature, I am only saying that boys seem to disregard things they are not able to thrown, bite, push, shake or bang. I thing they might a bigger need to figure out the inner-workings of things, which is why they are so set on taking things apart. I must also confess that I come out of a third generation girls only family, which means that I do not have a lot of experience with boys.

Which brings me to my next point, I have opted to have my sister in Johannesburg's children over for a week in December, now Elsabé is one of my favourite people in the world, and so is her brother Hardus. I mean he is the first and most probable only boy to be born in our family for a couple of years; we all adore him, and it would be great to see him, but it would mean that I would need to come up with a strategy for keeping him busy. We have lots and lots of balls, and I think he is past the throw and see stage. In a nutshell I think I am in for a bit of a learning curve this December; and you know what I think I am looking forward to it.

For more articles on Parenting you can go to http://www.planetparent.co.za/ of gaan na http://www.moederskip.co.za/ vir afrikaanse artikels.